A Cow With Two Heads

 I was out strolling with my camera during the summer, in a part of England I’m not allowed to tell you where because of secrecy. I know, all that bull! I went out for an early morning drive while we were enjoying a weeks holiday, I didn’t have anywhere planned, I just meandered country roads looking for a scene that would make an ideal photograph. Driving and looking around for a photogenic spot isn’t that easy. However, down the years I’ve become quite adept at it, one eye on the road and another viewing all around me, like a pigeon.  On this particular day, nothing had really stood out that would make an exceptional photograph. After about an hour, I decided to pull into a small layby that really was in the middle of nowhere.

A Cow With Two Heads

Farm gateGetting out and stretching my legs, camera draped around my neck, I crossed the road to where there was a farm gate stuck in the middle of two giant hedgerows.  Curiosity kicked in and I popped my head over the gate just to see if there was anything of interest, a great view, some rusting piece of farm machinery, anything that would be worthwhile to photograph. I couldn’t believe my eyes!! No, not a great view over rolling hills, no beautiful rising sun, no waterfall or even river with glorious reflections, but a cow with two heads and two sets of udders complete with calf that also had two heads! I thought I was seeing things, maybe I was not feeling too good. Check again, it’s definitely got two heads! I was shaking, not with fear, but with finding such an awesome beast, and I knew I had my camera with me and as with these things, what should be a simple operation of setting up the camera, (something I do everyday without even thinking about it) and take the shots suddenly becomes a major task of co-ordination between fumbling fingers and a mind that can’t think!  Eventually, click, and I get the first shot.

What Have I Stumbled Upon?

As soon as I had the first shot, I was aware of a car speeding towards me. I turned to see a police car, the type they usually use on the motorways.Police Car Obviously something was amiss and it looked like it could be me. As quick as a flash, the camera went in my big side pocket on my overcoat. By the time Pc’s Canon and Ball had jumped out of the car and got to me, there was no signs or indeed anything to suggest that I may have had a camera and was up to no good. No good morning sir, how are you this fine morning? “What are you doing here? Is that your car in the layby? Have you been taking photographs? Do you know this is a restricted area?” Question after question without a second to answer.

I had stumbled into some sort of secret breeding centre and this two headed cow with its calf was some top secret experiment. Apparently I had driven into an area that was clearly marked as a no go zone to the public! Naughty boy that I am. The policemen asked if I had a camera and taken any photos to which I told them no. Naughty boy again, but I wasn’t giving up the one shot I had. They let me go, they must have thought I was being genuine with them. Before I left, they made me swear never to tell anyone where the place was or if I had ever seen anything unusual, hence me keeping it a secret location. To be honest, I couldn’t recall exactly where it was anyway. I eventually got back to our rented cottage and told everyone what I’d seen. I checked the camera and the one picture I have is the one I’ve posted above. The calf had two heads although you can’t see the other one. Such a strange day.

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8 Comments
  • steveo
    November 21, 2015

    Perhaps near Loch Ness?

    • admin
      November 21, 2015

      You could be right! But then again, you could be wrong.

  • Gerry Charb
    November 22, 2015

    A cow with two heads. An udder disaster.

    • admin
      November 22, 2015

      Ha, yes, plus double the milk.

  • Pcess
    November 26, 2015

    Unbelievable…very intriguing…

    • admin
      November 26, 2015

      Thank you. Yes, very intriguing indeed.

  • Cris
    December 5, 2015

    The odd thing about this two-headed cow is that there is no end for a calf to come out of, let along anything to get into in order to produce the calf in the first place. In looking at the calf, i see that both legs are pointed forward, like they should be. The udders are in the wrong place and are a little hinky-looking. Plus, the two heads are identical to each other, posing at the identical angle, with everything exactly like the other. Great story, but you’re full of malarkey. LOL

    • admin
      December 5, 2015

      The whole thing is weird. It could be a load of old bull. Thank you for your comments.




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