Impossible Tax Rebate

By Posted on 25 Comments 3 min read

Have you ever tried to deal with the tax office here in the U.K.? My word, what a depressing, soul-destroying experience!

A Letter

My lovely postman delivered me a letter a few days ago. One of those brown, official-looking things with a window. When I picked it up, the first thing I saw was H.M.R.C. in big black letters across the top. My immediate thoughts were, ‘Oh my, how much do they want now?’ Opening the envelope with all the enthusiasm of a condemned man facing his last meal, I was pleasantly surprised with the content.

I’m So Happy

After getting through the initial Dear Mr Jones, blah, blah, blah I went straight to the bottom of the first page where there was a figure printed in huge black numbers! It said £17:53P, which isn’t an enormous life-changing amount of moolah, but, it’s coming my way. After all, I thought it was what I owed them, so it’s a bonus. The main contents of the letter explaining how to get your grubby mitts on this dosh by going online.

Downhill Fast

This is where the nice surprise went downhill, and fast. I typed the address they gave in the letter into my trusty old laptop. Immediately, it came back with things about checking out my identity and proving that I am the actual person who the money is being refunded to. What is my National Insurance number, no problem, it is etched in the back of my mind. Next question was do I have a valid Passport? No. I haven’t been abroad for a few years, mainly because of illness so I never renewed my Passport.

Pear Shaped

Then it all went pear-shaped, with a huge capital P! Have I had a loan when was the last time I had a phone contract, which football team do I support, what colour eyes does my butcher have, how often do I change my socks? Etc, etc. Ok, I may have made up some of these questions, but in all honesty, they’re no more stupid than the official questions. It all ends with a message saying they can’t prove that I am who I am saying I am? This from a government that has more fibbers than I’ve ever known.

I’m Not Me!

I can’t get back into the website for another 24 hours. Actually, I can’t retry to get back in there for another 24 hours. Of course, 24 hours went by and of course, I tried again. Of course, they wouldn’t let me in, saying that I’m not really me. There’s a telephone number you can call during office hours. I gave it a try, but after being told I might have to hold for the next 3 years and listen to some tinny, dreadful musak, another thought occurred to me. What happens, after my 3 years of holding on and I get through, will they just go through the same questions they ask on the internet? Which in turn will mean they will hang up on me as they won’t believe it’s me!

Read The Small Print

I read somewhere, in the small print (it’s called small print because no one reads it) that if I don’t contact them, then they will send me a cheque for the full amount. So why did I have to go through that dreadful exercise? I do wonder what’s going on in this world of madness at times. I know one thing. If I ever owe the taxman, I’m going to insist he calls me up and I will keep him on hold before asking him 143 stupid questions which he will be unable to answer. Then I’ll probably get sent to prison for withholding my tax payments. Oh well, when I eventually get my 17 quid I’m going to go to the pub and have a few beers. I need it.

Have a go yourself and see how you get on: Tax Office.

I'd love to hear from you

25 Comments
  • librepaley
    August 23, 2019

    And how much did it cost them to administrate 17 quid?

    • admin
      August 23, 2019

      Exactly, it’s pointless, 😃

  • susiesopinions
    August 23, 2019

    It happens in every country. We have our pensions sent over to the U.S. to live on. This brings up problems every other year. It takes me 2 years to sort it out, and then it happens again. Hours on the phone, only to be cut off. No fun at all.

    • admin
      August 23, 2019

      It seems all part of the making us mere mortals totally fed up, Susie.

  • SueW
    August 23, 2019

    There is so much red tape and it just gets worse every year. The thing that gets me is when I’m asked for a utility bill. Since the eldest and family moved here the bills are now in their name and we all pay into in account to cover them. The only bill I have is my mobile phone and that’s online!

    • admin
      August 23, 2019

      It’s just ridiculous and daft, Sue. If you owe them though, they don’t care if you’re you or not

  • Peter's pondering
    August 23, 2019

    Do I know you?

    • admin
      August 23, 2019

      Haha, I don’t think I know who I am now, Peter.

  • Invisibly Me
    August 23, 2019

    Oh my, you’re going to be rich! I think they make it as difficult as possible to put people off from contacting them or claiming their money, but it seems so illogical if they’re going to send out the cheque without you having to confirm anything anyway. What a pointless exercise. Start writing that list of inane questions in preparation for future contact, I’d love to know how you get on 😉

    • admin
      August 23, 2019

      Even if I was going to be rich, Caz, I doubt they would give me the money 🥴

  • Anonymous
    August 23, 2019

    “Official” is the same all over the world.🤪

  • jazzyoutoo
    August 24, 2019

    I shiver every time I get a letter from the tax office! I really do!

    • admin
      August 24, 2019

      I know that feeling well. Thank you

  • Amanda Ricks
    August 27, 2019

    Governments everywhere are created to create insanity 😂😂😂

    • admin
      August 27, 2019

      Just lately they have been successful in doing that. I think I need to find my cave where I haven’t got to worry about governments. Thanks, Amanda

  • Jay
    August 29, 2019

    You know what’s great about Canada?
    Taxes here are a breeze. Minimal, easily filed, quickly paid, no muss, no fuss.
    Hahaha. Are taxes cool anywhere? Anywhere you’d actually want to live, anyway?
    Goodness. What else could a country do if we actually fixed the tax office?

    • admin
      August 30, 2019

      Lol. It just annoys me that if you owe them so much as 1penny and you’re late paying, they’ll send the world and his dog after you 😃 thanks for the comment, Jay, good to hear from you.

  • smzang
    August 30, 2019

    I think bureaucracy grows on its own stupidity, and yet there is a certain twisted logic. Their mode of operation seems to be “Lie and Confuse”. We enjoy the same convoluted insanity here in the states too.

    • admin
      August 30, 2019

      Thank you, Sarah. I’ve never know so much lies and confusion as we have had over the past few years! Let’s hope everything gets sorted before it’s all too late!

  • America On Coffee
    September 5, 2019

    Awful. Best wishes.

    • admin
      September 5, 2019

      Thank you 😊

  • Author G M Cleary
    September 6, 2019

    Thank god(dess) for Guinness…

    • admin
      September 6, 2019

      Yes 😀

  • Hope
    September 11, 2019

    Have you ever noticed that when you go thru something like this with any type of paperwork that by the time everyone is done with their part it cost more in time, aggravation, postage, time on the computer? 🤔

    • admin
      September 11, 2019

      You are right, Hope. It can be a complete pain in the butt,




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