Master Chef

By Posted on 6 Comments 2 min read

Master chef is the name of a TV show here in the UK where up and coming Gordon Ramseys’  cook something and a judge decides who has produced the best meal wins! Well, that’s how it seems to me from what I’ve seen so far. I caught the show by accident as wifey watches it avidly together with that other program where they all go scatty baking a cake.

I don’t want to seem as though I’m deriding any chefs or Master chef the show, but you have to understand that I like a meal. I mean a meal that has potatoes, peas, beans, gravy, meat or fish and perhaps a good old fashioned Yorkshire pudding. A meal that will leave me feeling full and satisfied after eating it.

There’s not enough to feed a Budgie fitted with a gastric band!

These chefs seem to run around, sweating their gonads off under pressure to come up with an original meal within a set period of time. I admire that, I really do because it’s something I could never do. However, the end result appears to be a plate with some strands of grass, a dollop of something that looks like a dumpling and some squiggly bits around the edge, usually in green, brown or yellow. There’s not enough to feed a budgie fitted with a gastric band!

There’s a panel of experts, all waiting to taste the produce of the chefs hard work, hanging around like a bunch of starved vultures, going in for the kill.

“Ooh, you can taste the orange in this and the delightful explosion of vanilla on your taste buds are just sublime.”

“I think the Tashmella is under cooked, but I love the Dopamine sauce!”

One tiny teaspoonful and the whole lot is gone. Not even a crust of bread to mop up the squiggly bits. Give me a carvery any day, as much as you want to eat and a super ‘Chocolate by Death’ for pudding. It may not be as healthy as the Master chef cuisine, but I think I’ll take my chances rather than starve to death.

If you’re interested in running around like a nincompoop all day to make a plate of thin air, more info here: Masterchef

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  • susiesopinions
    October 9, 2016

    We have that here too and Ramsey is one of the judges

    • admin
      October 9, 2016

      That must liven things up with him onboard!

  • angloswiss
    October 9, 2016

    Master chef has followed me for a few years due to the fact that I am also a wife, cook, and Mr. Swiss happened to discover the programme one day after it followed “East Enders” which is another favourite of mine – and him since I explained the intricacies of the cockney accent. I am drifting. I cook sort of European, the days of neat pie, greens and veg have passed after 50 years of Swiss life and has now reverted to pasta, rice and veg in a bechamel sauce. although the memories of the life before linger. For my dad a housewife that served meat with potato accompanied with a Yorsire Pud was a super cook – none of that foreign rubbish. He passed away this year at the age of 100 and 7 months, but to the end remained a true believer in the basic english food, served with a coating of gravy of course. His main remark after eating one of my meals when visiting in Switzerland was “I suppose they like that sort of thing”, meaning the border versions of master chef meals. I was never a master chef, my portions were not budgie sized, but perhaps a little heavy on the digestive organs cooking with a basis of wine and cream, but I have survived. Howver, I find your report of Master Chef cooking is excellent. I gave it to Mr. Swiss to read and he also had tears of laughter in his eyes. We were both drawn back to the days of solid basis home cooking in the East End of London.

    • admin
      October 9, 2016

      Glad you enjoyed the post. I certainly can’t be doing with these small meals no matter how well they have been cooked or the amount of time put into them. Thank you for your input and it’s very interesting too.

  • Leland Olson Hoel
    October 19, 2016

    I love your story on the Master Chefs. Did my heart and taste buds good. In my own mind, I think the Master Chefs have nothing to pass , for lack of good food. They spend too way too much time sitting on the commode, reading about vegetarian lifestyle.

    • admin
      October 22, 2016

      Haha, very good Leland, thank you.

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