Mrs Jelfs Biscuits

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I have a problem here at home. A storage problem that always seems to rear its ugly head as we approach the festive period. It all started many years ago, probably over 30 years ago!! You see, we have a cupboard under the stairs which originally was called a pantry. We don’t really call it anything now, but we should perhaps rename it the biscuit warehouse. Let me tell you how we reached this sorry situation and Mrs Jelfs biscuits.

Mrs Jelfs, a very dear old lady who lived not too far from us, well she did 30 years ago was someone my wife had known, but I must have only met her on 1 or 2 occasions that I recall.  When we were first married, Christmas morning we would go and visit family, and in those days we could not afford a car. On the rounds of visiting we would drop Christmas cards off here and there and the wife, Dolly Clackett would knock on the door of Mrs Jelfs little house and deliver a tin of biscuits.

This was all fine and dandy while we were car less and went everywhere by foot or bus. However, once we were flush and able to buy a car, so the calling at Mrs Jelfs front door on Christmas morning went by the by as it was out of the way and awkward to get to when driving. What didn’t change was the buying of the tins of biscuits! Believe it or not, we have bought a tin of biscuits every year for Mrs Jelfs, gift wrapped them, added a tag with a message along the lines of, ‘Hope you have a Merry Xmas and Happy New Year’. Then put them in the cupboard under the stairs!

Now we have reached the point where we don’t have room for any more tins of biscuits, or anything! It’s that packed in there, there isn’t even any room for dust. Why oh why do we carry on with this process year in year out, aimlessly buying up the biscuits, gift wrapping the tins all neat and tidy and then stacking them in a cupboard to be left forever? I don’t even know if poor old biscuit-less Mrs Jelfs is still with us. Like most of the tins of biscuits, she has probably gone well past her sell by date.

It’s got to be an embarrassment now as there are so many tins, we would look daft going to the local waste disposal dump with a car full of biscuits and filling up the skips. It would probably take three or four journeys to complete. I am hoping beyond hope that Dolly Clackett doesn’t buy another tin this year. We could see if Mrs Jelfs still lives in her house and deliver all the tins at Christmas with a note saying sorry, but that would be taking the biscuit!!

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Don’t Try This At Home
Mrs Jelfs Biscuits

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