I’ve been to far too many funerals of late and it’s got me thinking about my own mortality. When my time comes, who will say a few words about me? Will they be kind and funny or serious and can’t think of anything to say? Not that I will be too worried at the time. However, one thought crossed my mind that I thought I would share with you.
Too Far For My Friends
Now I’m living in Wales, most of my friends and relatives remain nearly a hundred miles away in Birmingham. Well, those that are still alive do. What if it’s too far for any of them to travel for my final farewell? Perhaps I will outlive everyone and there’ll be no one left to say anything! So many worries and concerns that I never had in my life. Then something occured to me. Perhaps ‘my friends on Facebook’ (said with eyes rolling around my head) might write some nice things in my memory? Can you imagine that?
I’ve been through some of the messages I’ve received over the years on Facebook and this is how I think they might write a few words of praise for the vicar or whoever carries out my service.
Dear Terv, sorry you dead. You are missed my dear, love from Gloria in Ghana.
Hey Jones, much sorrow that you’re no more. If someone can send me you bank details complete with password I will make donation to your funeral expense. Please get someone do it now. Mr Muganba Muwanga, Botswana Federal Bank.
My Dear Trevor Jones, I am sad that you have gone, I would liked to marry you. I have 6 children, 2 girls and 1 boy. It is my wish that I erected a statue for you in Mutambili Square in Lagos. Please can someone send me money to build it.
Dear Jones, how sad am I that you have gone but not forgotten. You can leave message for me by calling this number 07865735246672 and telling me your banking details so I can donate you lots of money for your family. Mr S.K.Mowangbe, Uganda
Mr Trev, I heard you have dead. I am naming my new donkey in honor of you memory. I call him Stanley in your memory. Thank you. Is it possible that you could leave me money for food for Stanley, please, thank you.
I’m Not Planning On Going Yet
It’s ok, I’m not planning on going anywhere for a long time to come yet. What I’ve learnt down the years is that our worries change with the passing of time. Years of worrying about mortgages, employment security, building up a pension suddenly fade into the distance. Worrying over my bald patch is my main concern these days! I hope I haven’t offended anyone with my words of praise, but these are genuine messages which I’ve only slightly altered. It wouldn’t be the best of send offs would it? Then again, it would give people a good laugh which is something I would like.