By I’ve been to far too many funerals of late and it’s got me thinking about my own mortality. When my time comes, who will say a few words about me? Will they be kind and funny or serious and can’t think of anything to say? Not that I will be too worried at the time. However, one thought crossed my mind that I thought I would share with you.
Too Far For My Friends
Now I’m living in Wales, most of my friends and relatives remain nearly a hundred miles away in Birmingham. Well, those that are still alive do. What if it’s too far for any of them to travel for my final farewell? Perhaps I will outlive everyone and there’ll be no one left to say anything! So many worries and concerns that I never had in my life. Then something occured to me. Perhaps ‘my friends on Facebook’ (said with eyes rolling around my head) might write some nice things in my memory? Can you imagine that?
The Messages
I’ve been through some of the messages I’ve received over the years on Facebook and this is how I think they might write a few words of praise for the vicar or whoever carries out my service.
Dear Terv, sorry you dead. You are missed my dear, love from Gloria in Ghana.
Hey Jones, much sorrow that you’re no more. If someone can send me you bank details complete with password I will make donation to your funeral expense. Please get someone do it now. Mr Muganba Muwanga, Botswana Federal Bank.
My Dear Trevor Jones, I am sad that you have gone, I would liked to marry you. I have 6 children, 2 girls and 1 boy. It is my wish that I erected a statue for you in Mutambili Square in Lagos. Please can someone send me money to build it.
Dear Jones, how sad am I that you have gone but not forgotten. You can leave message for me by calling this number 07865735246672 and telling me your banking details so I can donate you lots of money for your family. Mr S.K.Mowangbe, Uganda
Mr Trev, I heard you have dead. I am naming my new donkey in honor of you memory. I call him Stanley in your memory. Thank you. Is it possible that you could leave me money for food for Stanley, please, thank you.
I’m Not Planning On Going Yet
It’s ok, I’m not planning on going anywhere for a long time to come yet. What I’ve learnt down the years is that our worries change with the passing of time. Years of worrying about mortgages, employment security, building up a pension suddenly fade into the distance. Worrying over my bald patch is my main concern these days! I hope I haven’t offended anyone with my words of praise, but these are genuine messages which I’ve only slightly altered. It wouldn’t be the best of send offs would it? Then again, it would give people a good laugh which is something I would like.
Ken Brown
October 2, 2018Excellent stuff, Trev. Funerals tend to lend themselves to humour – intended or otherwise. Very glad to hear you have no plans in that department.
Only a few months back a gentleman I knew passed away. He had been in a wheelchair for years – only able to move his eyes but he had one hell of a sense of humour. His coffin was wheeled into the service to the accompaniment of The Jam’s “Going Underground”. Not so much a message as a statement of intent!
Trev Jones
October 2, 2018Thank you, Ken
Anonymous
October 2, 2018Hahaha you really gave me a good laugh!
Invisibly Me
October 3, 2018I feel so awful chuckling at these, but you really would have thought people would come up with more believable ways to rip you off and steal your money! Thinking about mortality is a difficult one, and I think that a dose of good humour helps take the edge off it. I do have a few thoughts on my tombstone, however, for when the time comes for me :
“I told you I was sick”.
“If you’re reading this, your standing on my boobs”.
I’m also going to have it hooked up to free wi-fi so people visit me more often 😉
Caz x
admin
October 3, 2018Lol, Caz. Glad it made you chuckle.
Sue W
October 3, 2018I loved your post Trev and I’m delighted you have no plans to leave us just yet.
One of my husband’s favourite pieces, and long before the ‘Apprentice’ used it, was by Prokofiev from Romeo and Juliet. We used this for his dramatic entrance into the church for his funeral service. This had everyone smiling, and the service continued with humour throughout.
My daughter told how I’d written a message at the chapel of rest and because I inadvertently missed out the word ‘at’ it now reads Finally…Peace!
I’ve never heard such loud laughter in church before!
No sad hymns either we sang rousing hymns during the service but we finished with an odd one for the exit.
A couple of days before his death we attempted to discuss the music he would like for his funeral, he thought for a minute, smiled and said “How about Jesus wants me for a sunbeam!”
I don’t think he was serious, and we laughed with him and then said “Right mate, Sunday school it is, that’s what you’re getting!” 😀
https://youtu.be/lBwbl2sTbQ4
admin
October 3, 2018I love that people are seemingly more and more taking funerals and loved ones passing in a less serious way. I feel it should always be a celebration of their life as opposed to losing them. Yes, we are sad, but I think a bit of humour always helps. Thank you, Sue.
Yvonne KT
October 3, 2018Thanks, have a good day.
admin
October 3, 2018Thank you
Hope
October 4, 2018Mr Silly Old Sod sorry to hear you have left us on earth. Please keep an eye on all your fellow bloggers from above. Especially me since I’m more bonkers than most. Miss you! 🌼🌺🌷❤
admin
October 4, 2018Thank you, Hope. I shall still be blogging from beyond! I shall put a good word in for you 😀
rugby843
October 4, 2018No funeral for me, a cardboard box put in an incinerator is all. I prefer to remember people as they were, alive. If I like or love you, I’ll tell you then. Btw, I like you!☺️
admin
October 4, 2018Thank you, Rugby. I’m glad you like me 😀
inesephoto
October 8, 2018Oh these messages are so funny 🙂 Thank you for the laugh.
admin
October 8, 2018Thank you very much, inesephoto, glad you liked them and they gave you a laugh.
Dave Kingsbury
October 8, 2018They can read this one out for free, no strings attached: Trev gave us all a good laugh!
One piece of advice – resist the temptation to wear a wig!
admin
October 8, 2018I like it Dave, thank you very much 🙂
txjessy
October 9, 2018Lol, with technology, we will soon be attending funerals, weddings, school and any event with those VR head gear, (whatever they are called) :). Then we wouldn’t have to worry about these messages.
admin
October 9, 2018Thankyou, txjessy, that’s a great response. 🙂
zumpoems
October 12, 2018Loved this!!! Thanks for making me laugh!
admin
October 12, 2018Thank you, zumpoems, glad you enjoyed it.
Heide
October 12, 2018Nothing at all strange or suspicious about wanting to marry a chap who has just died. LOL, Trev!
admin
October 12, 2018Exactly!! Thank you, Heide.
Paulina 007
October 21, 2018wonderful text;-) I write in Polish but I’ve got a few articles in English as well;-) as regards Facebook..hehe what crazy stuff is sometimes there 😉 well social media are pretty addictive ..the best example are me and you being here;-) regards from Poland Paulina
admin
October 21, 2018Thank you, Paulina and I think you’re right. 🙂
Leya
October 25, 2018Some good laughs over here! Thank you for posting – even if I don’t intend to go yet…either.
admin
October 25, 2018Thank you, Leya. Glad you enjoyed the post and like you, I’m not intending to go just yet 🙂
Jay
October 30, 2018Miss you!
admin
October 30, 2018Thank you, Jay. I’m not really gone, but having a little break and I’ll be back soon 🙂
morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer
October 30, 2018Why not write your own obituary and have a trusted friend read it at your bid ceremony?
admin
October 30, 2018That’s a good idea, Ronnie, I shall keep that in mind. Thank you.
Bryntin
November 4, 2018Hello Trev. I am glad to inform you that you have today been in receipt of a visit during my inaugural Great Bryntin Blog Tour.
As you are evidently not dead yet, please pay a subscription, let’s say £100 in M&S Gift Cards, for one year’s access to the ‘I am not dead yet’ register on my blog. Thank you. This is of course optional, you may pop off when you like.
admin
November 5, 2018Thanks, Bettina, when I win the lottery I’ll remember you 😀
luisa zambrotta
November 6, 2018You are right: our worries vary with time 🙁
admin
November 6, 2018Thank you, Luisa
Diane Neas
November 9, 2018Made me laugh, needed that! Thank you!
admin
November 9, 2018Thank you, Diane and I’m pleased it gave you a little enjoyment.
bereavedandbeingasingleparent
November 16, 2018Oh I hear you about the bald patch. Why can I grow hair everywhere apart from the top of my head. Mines getting shaved off before I get to the Bobby Charlton brush over.
admin
November 16, 2018Hi Gary, thanks for the comment. I’m the same as you, I even have hair growing on my shoulders that were never there before. Totally agree about the comb-over.
dunelight
November 17, 2018“Will they be kind and funny or serious and can’t think of anything to say? ”
They will lie, lie through their teeth they will.
admin
November 18, 2018Yes, hahaha.