Biscuit Auditor

By Posted on 61 Comments 2 min read

The biscuit auditor made a spot check visit last week and I got myself into a bit of trouble.

The auditor is of course my wife! She decided to check on the contents of the ‘Custard Creams’ tin and came to the conclusion that someone had been having more than their fair share of these little pieces of deliciousness.

Guilty M’lud

As there’s only the two of us living here, it didn’t take too long to work out who the biscuit kidnapping culprit was. I know, I hold my hands high and plead guilty your honor. It’s hardly the crime of the century though, is it? After all, who can honestly say they can resist the temptation of a Custard Cream or two when you think you’ll get away with it?

Mundane Stuff

Onto more mundane stuff now. I’m running out of space on my blog here and I need to get rid of some of the early posts I made. Actually, I’m surprised how far back the posts go. So, without further ado, I will be taking part in what they call ‘website maintenance’ over the weekend to make room for more pages of daft posts in the future. It’s a kind of Spring cleaning exercise and long overdue.

Stay Safe

I will also be hiding from the wrath of the biscuit auditor, she hasn’t found out about the chocolate hobnobs yet! If I had a virtual ‘probation’ period for the Custard Creams then it’s definitely off to prison for the Hob Nobs!! I will wish everyone a safe and happy weekend as I head off to blog revamp time. See you on the flipside and if my blog is down for any time over the weekend, it’s only a fix-it thing I’m working on. As Arnie says, ‘I’ll be back.’

The Evidence!

I'd love to hear from you

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

61 Comments
  • endorsum
    March 4, 2021

    ????

  • Pied Type
    March 4, 2021

    Those biscuits look and sound so good! I could use a few right now. I’d be in deep trouble with entire tins of them within reach.

    • Trev
      March 4, 2021

      Thank you. I know, they are delicious and that’s why I am in trouble. 🙂

  • Peter's pondering
    March 4, 2021

    Perhaps if you indulge in the fig rolls your blog may clear itself!

    • Trev
      March 4, 2021

      Lol. Now there’s a thought, Peter. 🙂

  • June Lorraine Roberts
    March 4, 2021

    Good luck with the web clean-up…and the Biscuit Auditor

    • Trev
      March 4, 2021

      Thank you, June. 🙂

  • John
    March 4, 2021

    The biscuits sound delicious, but you may be in a heap of trouble! ????

    • Trev
      March 4, 2021

      I am, thank you, John. 😉

  • Rosaliene Bacchus
    March 4, 2021

    Can’t blame you for swiping more than your share of the Custard Cream biscuits 🙂 All the best with your blog revamp. That’s next on my list once I’ve completed my new author website.

    • Trev
      March 4, 2021

      Thank you, Rosaliene 🙂

  • Yetismith
    March 4, 2021

    Custard creams were always a favourite also Jaffa cakes and oh dear I don’t know what they are called…like shortbread with bits of raisin. Enjoy the purge!

    • Trev
      March 5, 2021

      Ooooh, biscuits, all sorts, they’re all lovely ????

  • PaperKutzs
    March 4, 2021

    Hmmmm. I didn’t realize you could only have so many posts. I guess I should try and find this information. Good luck hiding from the auditor.

    • Trev
      March 5, 2021

      I’m on a self hosted blog, so you only get a limited amount of space. ????

  • Cheryl, Gulf Coast Poet
    March 4, 2021

    Trev, that sweet tooth leads you into misdemeanors! Do a good deed for the auditor and you will be pardoned! 🙂
    All the best!

    • Trev
      March 5, 2021

      Thank you, Cheryl. Yes, I have little control over my sweet tooth. ????

  • susiesopinions
    March 5, 2021

    I would do the same ????

    • Trev
      March 5, 2021

      Thank you, Susie. ????

  • Kally
    March 5, 2021

    This is so funny!

    • Trev
      March 5, 2021

      Thank you, Kally ????

  • Lolsy's Library
    March 5, 2021

    Still alive though! That’s a good point =D lol

    • Trev
      March 5, 2021

      I am, thank you ????

  • librepaley
    March 5, 2021

    Yup, being caught is worth it for a custard cream. Tip to hide biscuits: arrange some garibaldis (squashed fly biscuits) on top of the tin.

    • Trev
      March 5, 2021

      Thank you, I shall remember this. It sounds as though you have been in biscuit prison too?

  • Crystal Byers
    March 5, 2021

    Reminds me of the poem by William Carlos Williams—just a little note to his wife.

    This Is Just To Say

    I have eaten
    the plums
    that were in
    the icebox

    and which
    you were probably
    saving
    for breakfast

    Forgive me
    they were delicious
    so sweet
    and so cold

    • Trev
      March 6, 2021

      ???? thank you, Crystal.

  • iammrsshecky
    March 5, 2021

    At least you aren’t hiding them… ????

    • Trev
      March 6, 2021

      No, the temptation would be far too much for me. Thank you, Mrs Shecky. ????

  • Herb
    March 5, 2021

    Aha! the cookie thief was caught! I’m sorry you have a limitation. That must be a WordPress thing, I guess.

    • Trev
      March 6, 2021

      Thank you, Herb. Yes, it’s because I’m self hosted.

      • Herb
        March 6, 2021

        I’m self-hosted but I have what’s called an “unlimited” plan with Godaddy. I’m sure there’s a limit somewhere but I’m not sure what and I have been with them a long time. Do you keep archives of your stuff on your computer or when you delete it it will just be gone?

        • Trev
          March 6, 2021

          I do keep a copy on my computer. I think mine is an unlimited plan, but when you look into it, they give you a database of 100 mb. ????

  • juliecroundblog
    March 5, 2021

    Hi Trev, I sympathise. I have given up cake for lent but that doesn’t apply to biscuits, does it? I should never have bought a packet of chocolate digestives, but they were dark chocolate – that’s goood for you, isn’t it? My problem is cheese and crackers. I nibble them when I am cooking tea. I have been told a glass of red wine would be better for me, but it’s got to be a habit.
    I like making people laugh, too but I can never remember jokes. There is humour in all my books but I don’t think they are funny.
    Not much to laugh at at present. Just hoping things will get better soon.

    • Trev
      March 6, 2021

      Thank you, Julie. You keep enjoying the biscuits and cheese and crackers. It is a difficult time, but let’s hope there’s light at the end of the tunnel. ????

  • Going Batty in Wales
    March 6, 2021

    I find biscuits very more-ish too!

    • Trev
      March 6, 2021

      Just like me, I am addicted. Thank you 🙂

  • inkdropk
    March 6, 2021

    Reminded of a peter kay sketch, Hobnobs the SAS of biscuits !!!! Great Post.

    • Trev
      March 6, 2021

      Thank you, inkdropk, I haven’t seen that sketch. 🙂

  • KINDNESS WISDOM
    March 6, 2021

    ????????????????

    • Trev
      March 6, 2021

      Thank you ????

  • Invisibly Me
    March 6, 2021

    I’m the biscuit auditor in this house so I empathise with your wife. It’s a tough job finding the culprit, ensuring adequate jail time is done and deciding when to open a new pack of biscuits so you can get your mitts on enough biscuits yourself before the cookie monster(s) eat them all! I’ve opened two packs of HobNobs in the last two days and they’ve all already gone. When you open yours I imagine the same thing will happen. I picked up more in the supermarket and bloody hell, the packs are tiny & the price is ridiculous! They’re on sale in Sainsbury’s for £1, but I’m sure ‘back in the day’ the packs were twice as big… They’ve really got us over the biscuit barrel there. Too good to resist.

    Good luck with the blog revamp and spring clean over the weekend. Want to sort my blog afterwards? xx

    • Trev
      March 6, 2021

      Thanks, Caz. She doesn’t need empathizing with thanks. 😉 It’s so easy in our house to find the cuplrit as there’s only the two of us. I’ve had a good go at spring cleaning the blog and from what I can see, it hasn’t made much difference. I am surprised I didn’t mess it up completely and deleted the whole lot. I’d love to sort your blog for you, but you can bet your life that because it’s not mine, it would definitely get deleted. Thanks again, Caz, stay safe. 🙂

  • Don't Lose Hope
    March 7, 2021

    This made me laugh so much. Thanks for brightening my day!

    • Trev
      March 7, 2021

      Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

  • Lisa Orchard
    March 7, 2021

    I am also the biscuit snatcher in my house as well, and who can blame us? They are definitely delicious!

    • Trev
      March 7, 2021

      Thank you, Lisa. Welcome to my world. 🙂

  • #hhhigh
    March 10, 2021

    The biscuits and website, good ones , while you are maintaining your website you can have biscuits (joking) . Lookong forward for new posts after website maintenance:)

    • Trev
      March 10, 2021

      Thank you. ????

  • rozinaspersiankitchen
    March 12, 2021

    These biscuits look superb.

    • Trev
      March 12, 2021

      Thank you, Rozina. Unfortunately, they were not mine. 🙂

  • wibiwonders
    March 14, 2021

    Enjoy any biscuit while you can – as long as you leave some for your wife there should be no complaint!

    • Trev
      March 14, 2021

      Thank you, I will do that. ????

  • dunelight
    March 16, 2021

    Dear Silly,

    How does one go about getting such a position.

    Sincerely,
    Looking for Part-Time Work

    • Trev
      March 16, 2021

      I think this is a full time position. ???? Good luck with the job search and thank you ????

  • Enjoyed reading
    Hilarious.
    Thank you
    Have a fantastic weekend.

    • Trev
      March 20, 2021

      Thank you very much. Happy weekend ????

  • Finding Subjects Podcast
    March 22, 2021

    Hilarious! I too cannot help myself with freshly baked goods. They disappear in our house and I never know where they go when asked! Haa.
    Nice blog!
    Tony

    • Trev
      March 22, 2021

      Thank you, Tony 🙂

  • Seeker
    March 23, 2021

    Nicely written ????????

    • Trev
      March 23, 2021

      Thank you ????

Previous
Locked In
Biscuit Auditor

%d bloggers like this: